In death, all things become clear, the shadow thought as it struggled for the throbbing pain slowly reacting in its burning flesh. Tomorrow would be just an ordinary day. And the past is all it will have up to this moment. The shadow slowly knelt down as if it would be the first and last prayer it would do. And so it was, as the vision slowly disappeared, as the darkness engulfed its surroundings, and then… nothing…
The shutting of the door made her came to her senses. She had a bad dream, actually a nightmare. Even though she had come to reality, her heartbeat is still pounding faster. She felt a chill as the thunder strikes twice with the heavy rain pouring outside. It gives her an eerie moment thinking what had happened. She noticed the half-filled glass of wine on the side table, but she can’t remember she had drunk any of it. She realized that she had fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for someone.
And then she remembered that someone had arrived. So she stood up and walked through the parquet floor, realizing and wondering why her feet are naked, when she can’t remember she had removed her shoes when she got home. She proceeds to the kitchen and saw him. He doesn’t seem to notice her. She was about to approach him, but she didn’t. Her instincts told her so. She had always been living and deciding with her instincts. She has an incredible manner of thinking, an unpredictable way. Her narrow, sharp eyes made her look invulnerable. And made her seem she doesn’t trust anyone, except him. But these are also one of the reasons why she has captured his heart, her eyes which tells the truth when she’s telling the opposite. She’s been a young woman who thinks deep, an unimaginable depth of human nature. There she was staring at him, as he savors every taste of the food he’s putting in his mouth. It was the first time she had stared to him like that, as if it was the last time she’s going to see him. Her eyes scrutinized every inch of details in his face. His nose, his lips that she had kissed many times, his hair that she usually stroke with her fingertips, and his deep-set, round eyes that hypnotized her and made her believe in everything he says. Time suddenly drifts to the past, to the moment when everything seems to be perfect, up to its downfall.
How possible could a psychiatrist and a painter meet in an ordinary day and fall for each other? It was a typical day in a typical coffee shop where this typical young woman used to go. The untouched coffee in front of her seems to lose its passion. She was staring blankly through the window pane, seeing the busy streets, wishing she could take a full-month vacation for her to relax and take a rest. All of a sudden, a deep voice told her not to move, and so she did. She became nervous and curious on what must be happening. After a minute, she was still there, frozen. She was about to complain when the voice told her
“Please hold on just another minute.”
The painter was amused seeing his work, as he finished a few strokes. He then sat in front of her. He thanked her for her patience and apologized for the hasty interruption in her solitary moment. Before she could ask what the hell he did, he told her about the illumination. The illumination within her that captured his attention, and he knew it will lose its essence if it were done differently. He likes it that way, unexpected, unprepared, all happens with just a flash. Then finally she asked,
He replied hesitantly,
“Actually, it was an unfathomable light within you while you were there staring outside. I can’t further explain on it, but maybe I’ll just call you tomorrow at daybreak for us to talk. For the meantime, please accept this simple gratitude of mine.”
He then left, leaving a flower on the table. This white three-petal flower is a “snowdrop”; it usually grows fifteen centimeters tall, flowering during January and February. She was shocked by the sudden transition, and realized how he was supposed to contact her? He didn’t ask for her number or even her name. Who is this stranger and what is this light he’s talking about? But when she saw the flower, she just smiled and left.
At daybreak, she went to this odd garden where she used to stroll and play when she was a child. It is the only place in their town where you can see these snowdrops. And then he came, smiling back at her, certainly expecting her. He knew she would come. A week before, a dream told him that a light will come and he must bring it to this place. And there she was, she had deciphered the time and place they would meet again. She didn’t disappoint him, she’s the one. They talked and shared moments with each other like usual people falling in love. They had been envied mostly by their friends because of their almost perfect relationship. It was then before the unanticipated incident.
Her head aches as she tried to recall it. She’s having a hard time remembering it, the vague part of her past. It’s as if her brain is tearing down into pieces, isolating the good and bad memories she had. And the man in front of her doesn’t seem to notice her. He finally stood up, and passed through her. She was startled and terrified by what she saw. She felt lifeless. She felt her knees start to quiver. She was about to look back to reach for him, but he’s gone. Her head starts to ache again. She’s seeing a blurred vision from the past. She’s starting to hallucinate, it seems like the neurons in her brain are panicking. She saw a plane crash, a crowd in black, and people crying. She’s slowly losing touch from reality. The last figure she saw is the newspaper on the table that confirms the accident.
She woke up in a white room. She’s wearing a long, white dress. She can’t remember what had happened. Her eyes scanned the whole room, but she can’t see anything but white, except for this thing attached on the wall. She looked closely at it. It was a paper which has something on it, a sketch of a young woman staring outside the window. The woman was holding something, it looks like a flower. After realizing what flower it was, she laughed. She knew he had given the snowdrop after they talked, not during the creation of this sketch. It now became apparent that he was not drawing something based on the present, but instead, on the future. And then she also saw the illumination, the light he had been telling her. She finally understood what this means, it’s what it is destined to be. A tear fell from her eyes, and then she began to laugh.
In death, all things become clear, he had died in a plane crash and everything she saw was just a memory. She laughs while she is struggling for the pain slowly reacting in her flesh. Tomorrow would be just an ordinary day for the ordinary people. And the past is all they will have up to this moment. She was now ready to see him again. She slowly knelt down as if it would be the first and last prayer she would do. And so it was, her vision slowly disappeared, the darkness engulfed her surroundings, and then… nothing…